If you won’t make yourself a priority, don’t expect anyone else to.
Another way to put this is: If you don’t love yourself, how can you expect someone else to?
Be True to You - Set and Respect Your Boundaries
We’re social creatures. It’s in our DNA. It’s how our ancestors stayed alive and evolved. Even those of us “hermits” (🙋🏻♀️ ), need some form of contact with other humans.
Because of this, many of us develop a need to make others happy at any cost (again, 🙋🏻♀️ ); we learn to be “people pleasers.”
There’s nothing wrong with wanting those around you to feel welcome, safe and happy. It’s when you do so at a cost that undermines your own needs and values, that it becomes a problem.
Every time you do so, you hurt part of yourself, leaving you feeling small and insignificant.
Think about the people you respect. Chances are you look up to them because they set boundaries and stand up for what they believe in.
When you take a stand for what you will and won’t accept in your life, you not only make yourself stronger, and happier, but you also enable others to do the same.
It is not selfish!
Take a few moments and write down:
- What’s important to you
- What bothers you
- What’s something that you’d never tolerate someone doing/saying to your child (if you don’t have one, imagine yourself as a child)
Once you understand what you will - and won’t - accept in your life, you can then create boundaries. These boundaries are a way of telling yourself that you are worthy (and you ARE).
The beautiful thing about setting - and sticking to - boundaries, is that those who don’t/won’t respect them will eventually go away and you’ll attract/keep only the most wonderful people who do respect them.
Boundaries are a necessary step to self-love and living the life you deserve.
There have been instances where I’ve let others down because I refused to do what they wanted me to. I’m not proud of all of them. But I know that I did what was necessary for my own health.
When you do what’s necessary for your own health, you inadvertently help others do what they need to for their own health.
It may be hard at the time. It may seem selfish. In the end, you’re probably doing everyone a favour - whether or not you, or they, see it at the time. #bethechange