The topic of meditation could've easily been combined with other ways for achieving self-love. However, I believe it’s the most effective, most important tool,and therefore needs a post of its own.
It’s THAT powerful!
It’s what has personally helped me the most, on my journey to self love.
You’d have to have been living under a rock for the past few years if you haven’t heard people touting the benefits of meditation. These days, it’s all the rage.
Like you’ve probably done, I’ve tried meditating - on and off; a “dabbler” at best. Sure… sometimes I was regular in my practice, but it never lasted. It always felt tedious and difficult to keep my mind still.
That all changed when a mentor sent me a video featuring Dr. Joe Dispenza. He teaches, with scientific research, case studies and more, that through meditation, you can - and will if you keep at it - change your thoughts, and by doing so, change your future.
Like so many of us, I too grew up around abuse and addiction. I had tried everything and was desperate to break the shackles of my past. So armed with this new knowledge, I committed myself to regular meditation practice.
I went into it with the intention to change my behaviours and thereby, to better my future. What actually happened shook me to my core!
By putting a daily (this is key), concentrated effort into letting go of my mind and ego, to stay present in the moment, and connect with the energy frequencies the entire Universe is made of, something unexpected happened. And it happened quite suddenly.
I actually connected!!!
While experiencing this connection, I felt a wave of warm, loving acceptance wash over me. It was almost as if I was high. I felt giddy and sitting there with my eyes closed, broke out into - what was probably (eyes closed, remember?) - the most ridiculous, toothy grin!
Every fibre in my being tingled. It felt as though every particle in my physical and mental being was expanding, separating (yet still connected) and becoming part of this vast, bright, joyous ocean of loving energy.
Without any control or direction from my part, I could see and feel all the chapters I’ve experienced in this lifetime - from all angles. I could "see" myself as a child, a teen, a young adult, the woman I am now.
But this view wasn’t only coming from my own perspective. I was simultaneously seeing myself through the eyes of my mother, my daughter, father, family, friends, even strangers. I saw myself the way they see me. The way I see them:
Absolutely worthy of love.
I literally fell to the ground, face covered in tears mixed with grief, relief, acceptance, joy and love. And suddenly, for the first time in my life, I felt like I belonged, was wanted, loved and even needed… not because it came from someone else, but because it came from something deeper; something transcendent.
I finally knew what it was like to love myself.
Use Guided Meditations:
Initially, when I started practising meditation again, I would do so by listening to Dr. Joe’s guided “space” meditations. These become my foundation and I highly recommend trying it for yourself. These meditations teach you to let go of your past, connect with the universal energies and change your future by changing your own energy frequency.
They can be weird!
Some of the tones and visualizations he uses are kind of freaky, but surprizingly effective. Once you get used to it, you'll find it easier and easier to fall into a meditative trance and raise your vibration.
Before you begin, ask yourself:
What do you want to get out of this and why?
What energy would your dream self broadcast?
Visualize and feel your highest version of yourself to the point where you start embodying this person. Hold this feeling and during your meditation, continue matching your energy to the one you want to attract, bringing that dream future to the present you. If this all sounds "woo-woo", don't worry, it'll make sense after just one guided space meditation.
The proper use of breath is one of the keys to meditation. As Dr. Dispenza says:
"Once you understand the physiology of how this particular breath works, you will be able to assign meaning to the activity, put more intention behind it, do it properly, and experience all of the benefits of using breath to pull the mind out of the body and then recondition your body to a new mind."
First, you need to be aware that you have a fluid that loops through your spinal column and through your brain. Typically, this cerebral fluid takes 12 hours to make a complete circuit.
With normal breathing, the small bone at the base of your spine (sacrum bone), flexes - ever so slightly - back and forth during each inhalation and exhalation. At the same time, the sutures of your brain will expand and contract. These functions are what direct the flow of the cerebral fluid.
With this breath technique however, we're trying to take control of that fluid in a way that pushes it back up to the brain and exerts a subtle force. This is how we can tap into a higher vibrational energy.
- During inhalation, concentrate on contracting your pelvic muscles (yes, the same ones used for sex, kegels, and elimination).
- With your pelvic floor locked down, next focus on contracting your lower abdomen, followed to your upper abdomen. Doing this helps to push the cerebral fluid up your spinal column.
- Next, put your attention to the base of your skull and finally to the top of your head. By placing your attention at the top of your head, you're making that the target for the fluid to flow to.
"Where attention goes, energy flows"
Putting it all together:
- Think about taking one slow, steady breath through your nose.
- While inhaling, squeeze and hold your pelvic/perineum muscles, moving up to your lower abdomen and upper abdomen.
- Imagine the fluid moving up along your spine, through your chest, throat and brain.
- Once your attention is at the top of your head, hold the breath (remember to keep squeezing).
Do not try to force it. The whole process should feel smooth and relaxed. If you're forcing things and all tensed up, you're trying too hard - which defeats the purpose.
This breathing technique is a bit tricky to do. Especially when you're also trying to meditate and stay relaxed. I still struggle with it. But stick with it! It gets easier with practise.
Using this specific breathing technique can enable you to activate your brain's pineal gland. The pineal gland is what many spiritual practitioners consider to be the "third-eye".
Apparently, activating the pineal gland can put you in a completely euphoric state and even produce profound, intense visions.
I personally haven't been able to fully access/activate the pineal gland, but I have had a few glimpses through tentative practice.
While I can't provide more information, having not realized this state myself, I bring it up because from my understanding it's an extremely exciting, desirable and life-altering state to achieve.
Points to keep in mind:
- Focus on your breath - in through the nose, out through the mouth
- “Lose your mind” by directing your mind
- Where attention goes, energy flows
- Some days will be better than others - and vice versa - and that’s ok
- Results come from consistent practice.
How Long Should You Meditate For?
If you just want to see improvement in your mood and daily life, 10 minutes a day should suffice.
However, if your goal is to learn to love yourself deeply, experience a profound change in your life, and have your greatest dreams and desires fulfilled, then you’ll need to commit to a regular, daily practice for at least 40 minutes (at a time) per day.
This may seem like a lot. But think about this:
How much would it be worth to you, to live a life of your wildest dreams?
What would it be worth to live as your ideal version of yourself? Free from illness, happy, radiating love and confidence? In love with life and up for anything? Limitless? Fearless?
And if (*ahem* when) you’re living this way, don’t you think you’ll be more efficient, freeing up more time for the important things? Like doing the meditations that allow you to live to your fullest potential? 🤔
That said, if trying to implement something new to your life feels too tedious, then it’ll never last. To create a sustainable daily meditation practice, I highly suggest starting small.
Start with 10 minutes, once a day - or even just 5. The point is to get you into the habit of doing it every day.
Once you’re feeling regular in your practice, bump your time to 20 minutes.
Next, add in a second time during the day to meditate. Once in the morning and once at night is recommended. It’s a great way to start your day in a positive frame of mind and perfect way to wind down for a good night’s sleep.
Commit to doing this for at least 30 days. Eventually, you can start practising meditating for longer intervals, working your way up to 40 minutes (or more - whatever works for you).
Chances are, with regular practice, you’ll look forward to these moments in your day and even find you have more time to fit them in.